{"id":11503,"date":"2026-02-28T22:02:47","date_gmt":"2026-02-28T22:02:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.btaytd.org\/web\/?p=11503"},"modified":"2026-02-28T22:02:53","modified_gmt":"2026-02-28T22:02:53","slug":"pusula-dergisi-ocak-2026-sayisi-ozgun-bolum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.btaytd.org\/web\/tr\/pusula-dergisi-ocak-2026-sayisi-ozgun-bolum\/","title":{"rendered":"PUSULA DERG\u0130S\u0130 OCAK 2026 SAYISI- \u00d6ZG\u00dcN B\u00d6L\u00dcM"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SONDAYMI\u015eIM G\u0130B\u0130<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya\u015f otuz be\u015f! Yolun yar\u0131s\u0131 eder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dante gibi ortas\u0131nday\u0131z \u00f6mr\u00fcn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Delikanl\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdaki cevher,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  Yalvarmak, yakarmak nafile bug\u00fcn,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131na bakmadan gider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u015eair Cahit S\u0131tk\u0131 Taranc\u0131 \u015fiirinde ne de g\u00fczel nak\u015fetmi\u015f s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, g\u00f6stermi\u015f i\u00e7indeki \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah! Canlan\u0131verdi birden zihnimde \u015fiir! Dudaklar\u0131mdan d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr dizeler. Zihnimde yine ayn\u0131 \u015feyler\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neredeyim, kimlerleyim ve ne yap\u0131yorum? Uzun zamand\u0131r k\u00f6\u015feme \u00e7ekilerek bu sorular\u0131 benli\u011fime sorarken adeta kendimi sorgulad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 fark ettim! Acaba bu durum ne kadar s\u00fcre daha devam edecek? Akla takmalar, uyan\u0131p a\u011flamalar, uyumadan \u00f6nce a\u011flamalar ve kendi kendime konu\u015fmalar, yarg\u0131lamalar\u2026 S\u00fcregelen ve d\u00f6ng\u00fc i\u00e7erisinde olan bir s\u00fcre\u00e7\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u00fczeltilecek \u015feyler var m\u0131? Vard\u0131r elbet; ancak bu g\u00fcc\u00fc kendimde galiba bulam\u0131yorum. Hem g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc hem de g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz\u2026 Yani sondaym\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi ya\u015f\u0131yor ve hissediyorum. Eskiden yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 severdim sanki art\u0131k bu b\u00f6yle de\u011fil. Yaln\u0131z olmak beni korkutuyor. Ailemden, aile b\u00fcy\u00fcklerimden, evlad\u0131mdan, e\u015fimden ayr\u0131 kalmak istemiyorum\u2026Acaba ya\u015f ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in midir? Bilmiyorum. Ya\u015f ald\u0131k\u00e7a ya\u015fa ba\u011fl\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcme daha da yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in midir? Onu da bilmiyorum ama tek bildi\u011fim; Evet, art\u0131k yaln\u0131z olmak da, kalmak da istemiyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yok, hay\u0131r; bu tam anlam\u0131yla \u2018herkes \u00e7evremde olsun\u2019 demek de de\u011fil. Bu birazc\u0131k da bencillik etmek de\u011fil mi? Herkesi kabul edemem ki. Etmemeliyim de zaten, de\u011fil mi? Herkesi nas\u0131l sevebilirim ya da herkes beni nas\u0131l sevebilir ki zaten? Hay\u0131r, bu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. Baz\u0131 g\u00fcnler oluyor; hatta evet, baz\u0131 geceler\u2026 Daha da k\u0131s\u0131tlamak gerekirse baz\u0131 saatler, s\u00fcrekli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce \u00e2leminde oldu\u011fum; d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyan\u0131n bana ula\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya da benim ula\u015fmas\u0131na izin vermedi\u011fim, yani kendimi kapatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m zamanlar\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d6yle hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na u\u011fram\u0131\u015f zamanlar\u0131m oluyor ki zihnim t\u00fcm kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 kapat\u0131yor; her \u015feye, herkese\u2026 Sondaym\u0131\u015f gibi\u2026Kendi kendime kal\u0131yorum. Bu nerede olabilir? \u0130\u015f yerinde, evde, sokakta, arabada.. Asl\u0131nda genel anlamda k\u00f6\u015femde. K\u00f6\u015fem benim konfor alan\u0131m. Baz\u0131 ki\u015filer de benim i\u00e7in \u00f6yle; konfor alanlar\u0131m. Onlar benim yan\u0131mda benim hissetti\u011fim kadar huzurlu ya da mutlu mudur, bilmiyorum; sormak laz\u0131m. Ger\u00e7i sordu\u011fumuzda ne zaman do\u011fru cevap al\u0131yoruz ki? Herkes \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f zaten kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine nas\u0131l davranmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini, nas\u0131l kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131 mutlu etmesi gerekti\u011fini, nas\u0131l s\u00fcsl\u00fc c\u00fcmleler kuraca\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nsanlardan bu \u00f6zelli\u011fi almak \u00e7ok zor. Kendim b\u00f6yle de\u011fil miyim? Kendim de b\u00f6yleyim. Acaba bu tam olarak yaln\u0131z kalma korkusuna m\u0131 ba\u011flan\u0131yor? Yoksa \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn so\u011fuk y\u00fcz\u00fcyle y\u00fczle\u015fmekten mi korkuyoruz? Eskiden daha \u00e7ok takard\u0131m d\u0131\u015f ortamdaki bana kar\u015f\u0131 sergilenen tav\u0131r ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 ama \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc ve sonu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck\u00e7e fani d\u00fcnyay\u0131 ve insanlar\u0131 rafa kald\u0131rd\u0131m\u2026Uyudun, uyanamad\u0131n; olacak. Kim bilir nerede, nas\u0131l, ka\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131nda? Bir namazl\u0131k saltanat\u0131n olacak, taht misali o musalla ta\u015f\u0131nda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seher AHMET<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SONDAYMI\u015eIM G\u0130B\u0130 Ya\u015f otuz be\u015f! Yolun yar\u0131s\u0131 eder. Dante gibi ortas\u0131nday\u0131z \u00f6mr\u00fcn. Delikanl\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdaki cevher,   Yalvarmak, yakarmak nafile bug\u00fcn, G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131na bakmadan gider. \u015eair Cahit S\u0131tk\u0131 Taranc\u0131 \u015fiirinde ne de g\u00fczel nak\u015fetmi\u015f s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, g\u00f6stermi\u015f i\u00e7indeki \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc\u2026 Ah! Canlan\u0131verdi birden zihnimde \u015fiir! Dudaklar\u0131mdan d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr dizeler. Zihnimde yine ayn\u0131 \u015feyler\u2026 Neredeyim, kimlerleyim ve ne yap\u0131yorum? Uzun<\/p>\n

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